From running microcurrents through our faces to trying to bleach off beauty marks, we still do some pretty barbarous stuff to our skin in the name of looking “prettier” or younger.

And while we might look back on devices from 100 years ago or so, those of us on the so-called “cutting edge” might actually see some similarities with the tools we use now. We just happen to have refined them (and charge more in the process).

From the ridiculous to the embarrassingly-still-modern, these methods of beautification will certainly raise your eyebrows (but not take away your wrinkles).

1. Breast washing

Ouch! We’re pretty sure that’s a forced smile.

This contraption is a French “breast enhancement” water massage device.

Now, if water worked to enhance breasts, these would still be around. Alas, it was just another item sold by quacks.

French Breast Washer, 1930s from r/interestingasfuck

2. Old school ice mask

We feel cold just looking at it!

Sure, we’ll put a cold mask on our face to reduce puffiness, but breaking out the ice cubes seems a little severe.

This ice mask was apparently used on Hollywood movie sets to refresh faces between takes without having to redo makeup.

But didn’t it leave little red marks?!

3. Leg painting

No proper lady would leave the house without her stockings. But during WWII when silk became a necessity in making military equipment such as parachutes, it was no longer available for sartorial needs.

These women had to go without but certainly didn’t want to LOOK like they were stocking-less. So department stores offered hand-painting of women’s legs to make it look like they were wearing stockings!

Women having their stockings painted on in 1941 London, England from r/OldSchoolCool

4. Hair ironing

Laugh all you want, but your mother or grandmother will know what this is all about.

And, let’s face it, we still do it! Now, we just have safer tools.

Before the expensive magic wands we call hair straighteners came out, ironing your hair straight meant doing it quite literally.

5. Rubber beauty masks

If you think beauty masks look strange now, you can at least thank your lucky stars that they’re relatively comfortable!

In this ca. 1921 photography, two women are sporting masks make of rubber designed to remove blemishes and wrinkles.

This looks like it would only make a blemish worse – and as we know all too well, we can’t send wrinkles packing with anything non-invasive.

6. Dimple machine

Sorry, dimples are genetic!

Of course, that didn’t stop people from selling women devices that would put a nice dent in their cheeks for a few hours.

We have a headache (and a toothache) just looking at this device and thinking about how it would feel!

7. Mask marketing

We buy snail mucus and microcurrent devices to put on our faces, so we’re still a bit weird. Alas, we don’t think the “toilet mask” would be a hot seller these days, based on the name alone.

We’re not sure what’s in this that might do anything for deep blemishes, but we doubt anyone got their money’s worth.

Still, it doesn’t look all that different from what we use today, does it?

Advert for the “Face Glove”, c.1875.

Intended to “bleach” the skin, removing blemishes. age spots, impurities, and roughness to leave the skin “soft, clear, brilliant, and beautiful.” pic.twitter.com/7hTR5CuzKs

— Whores of Yore (@WhoresofYore) September 29, 2019

8. Beauty micrometer

All we’ve done is turn the same pseudoscience into a glitzy machine.

But we’ll grant you, this looks pretty diabolical. We doubt there was a focus group of women when they designed this.

“Beauty Micrometer” Analyzes Facial Flaws for Makeup, 1935 from r/OldSchoolRidiculous

9. Freckle remover

This genuinely looks like torture.

Some women want to reveal their freckles while others are happy to try and bleach them off their faces.

This woman has subjected herself to freckle removal via CO2, hoping to freeze them off.

10. The tapeworm diet

Eat anything you want and lose weight! Just infect yourself with a tapeworm first!

It sounds so simple and yet we think there’s a reason it never caught on.

Sadly, some people still sell a quack version of a “tapeworm in a pill” on the black market.

However, even if it worked it would be incredibly dangerous to ingest a tapeworm since they can shut down your organs and give you neurological issues.

***

So, how far have we come when it comes to beauty?

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

Source: Bored Panda