Any parent can tell you that mealtime with the family isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be when you’re raising little ones. Hell hath no fury like a child who decides they hate every food item under the sun. Even so, mealtime-battle-hardened parents keep chugging along, meal after meal and tantrum after tantrum.

The good news is that the mealtime complications these parents have to deal with make for some pretty great fodder for internet humor. From failing to convince your kid not to eat duck poop to facing cooking criticism harsher than anything Chef Ramsay’s ever come up with, here are 12 outrageous tweets from parents battling it out with their kids at mealtime.

1. Nature’s peanut butter

If your kiddo is 7-years-old and you have to tell them not to eat duck poop, you may have a bigger problem on your hands. If you fail at convincing them not to munch it down like peanut butter on a cracker, well, yeah. You definitely have bigger problems on your hands.

2. Looks like Dad’s been chopped

If there is one thing that parents can expect from their kiddos when it comes to their cooking, it’s honesty. Brutal honesty. No worries, though. They always know they can get them back by feeding them a bowlful of gas-inducing veggies.

3. Fair’s fair

Parents will often find themselves hard-pressed to argue with a child’s logic. As unfair as it may feel, this little one has a point. Mom may have given them life, but they gave her a national holiday in return. This might be the best time for mom to introduce her kid to the wonders of inequitable distribution, though.

4. Can’t argue with math like that

Another great thing about kids is that they really know how to ruin a perfectly good meal. The only way to put an end to this type of behavior is to keep on munching as you stare at them with genuine interest. Then they’ll know that you’re just gross and nothing gets to you anyway. Good luck.

5. It’s the safest place to hide from your kids

This is something that just about every mother on the planet can relate to. Especially around Halloween time.

6. Not a lineup you want your cooking to be categorized in

That is one rough way to describe a parent’s cooking. The silver lining is that your cooking was at least last on the list. If it came before poop and pee, you should really start to worry.

7. Kids ARE your toughest critics

If you’re wondering whether or not you’ve started to put on too much weight, there’s no need to pull out the scale or go to the doctor. Your kids will have no problem telling you that you’ve fattened up while eating your home-cooked meal.

8. The best-laid plans…

Well, at least the kid tried to hold it in. You can’t really blame him. He’s still learning the science of containment. Just eat some chili and pay him back later.

9. There was never a love more true

One thing that’s really great about kids is they come up with some pretty quotable material. This little girl just spoke the words every woman feels.

10. The nervous decision-maker

Learning how to make your own choices as you’re growing up can be a stressful experience. If your parents aren’t telling you what you want, suddenly deciding for yourself seems overwhelming. Heck, if you go to a fast-food restaurant it seems that most people are still panicking even into adulthood!

11. You should never negotiate with a terrorist

We love them but it’s true; kids can be little terrorists sometimes. Just know that if your kid passes out from holding their breath, they will come to again so you should enjoy your brief reprieve before they wake up and start the whole argument all over again.

12. A lawyer in the making

Again, we can’t stress enough that some kids have a lot of smarts. It’s important that you don’t let them lead you into a trap of logic, because you will never win again.

These parental tweets of mealtime madness are proof-positive that kids really do say the darndest things. Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

H/T: Shareably