Trying to predict the mind of a third-grader is harder than rocket science. It’s essentially a random flow of consciousness that surprises you at every possible turn! When these third-graders were asked to write letters to God, the results showed us as much!

Check out these hilarious letters!

We found 20 of the best examples to show you!

1. Stars

When we look up, the stars often look back in wonder and beauty. Ever wonder how they got up there like Timon and Pumba from Lion King? Jeff sure did.

2. New Shoes

God is at church, right? If you have something new to show Him, that seems to be the best place to do it. Check out these new shoes God!

3. How old are you?

This is a question that we have ALL asked our parents at some point or another. “What was around before God” is usually the next one after that! Grandpa is old but God might just be older.

4. NOT what I asked for

Poor Joyce. She just wanted a puppy and decided to ask God for it. It looks like he misheard and sent a baby instead! How boring. Maybe next year, Joyce.

5. Jealous

Ever heard the phrase that God is a “jealous” God? Little Jane here has a serious issue with God being jealous, especially since he has everything! Jane probably asks lots of questions that make her parents uncomfortable.

6. We need more!

After Christmas and before Easter are some of the dullest months! There needs to be some holiday that goes in between the two to lighten the mood. God, can you work something out?

7. Genie or God?

Raphael wants a genie bottle from God! If only God could grant wishes… Also, God probably makes a terrible chess partner! Always a few moves ahead of us.

8. Noah’s ark

Look, God, since the ol’ ark things have been pretty stale. We need some variety in the animals we have down here on earth! Switch it up a bit so we can have something more exciting than cows or whatever.

9. Copyright infringement

Donna has pointed out something very important out here. In Genesis, it says God made light but we are taught Thomas Edison made the bulb. Which is it, God? Did Edison steal his idea from you?

10. How are babies made?

Like and big brother, this one seems to have pushed the “birds and bees” convo a bit early! To Marsha, it seems pretty weird and she isn’t quite sure about it. To be honest Marsha, I have to agree with you.

11. Classic poet

Little Daniel here is a classic poet. In his first-ever poem to God, he covered all the big topics. God, religion, and why we have to die. He has the makings of a true professional!

12. Is that allowed?

Little Marnie just wants to know if she is able to wear a Devil costume on Halloween this year. In good taste, she asked God first. She doesn’t want him thinking she likes the Devil or anything!

13. Giraffes

If we are honest, Norma has a point. Giraffes are SUPER weird. Like a horse that was stretched out a bit too much. Were they just an accident God? Also, rhinos…

14. Aspiring Assistant

Ruth loves staplers (let’s be honest, who doesn’t?). When God was busy making everything in the world around us how did he even THINK of that little contraption?

15. Kissing in church

Good question Neil. The only time that you are allowed to kiss in church is if it’s your first time ever and you are getting married. Otherwise, you might get in trouble! Just wait till youth group, kid.

16. The Golden Rule

Darla is about to FIX her brother! While I have no proof as to what this actually means, we can only guess. I would be walking on eggshells if I was Darla’s brother.

17. Snitches get… tails?

Danny told his brother something and got in trouble for it! He learned a lesson that day: his brother is a rat! All rats have tails so Danny’s brother needs one.

18. Now THAT is a good question.

I have no idea how God is going to answer this one. This is a question for the likes of philosophy and theology. The only bigger mystery is what this kid’s name actually is!

19. Nan is me

Thanksgiving dinner must be a tough one for Nan. She asked God a good one! How can he possibly love everyone, especially since God hasn’t met her brother!

20. Is God American?

You might think he was from social media! Robert is asking the tough questions today. He was close, however. We all know God is from New York. When he talks to me he has a thick northern accent.

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