20 bizarre headlines that will have you shaking your head
We think about 8 out of 10 people only read a story’s headline – which might be part of the reason so many of us are misinformed.
Then again, headline writers could probably be doing a bit better. Or at the very least they could learn how to spell. Or not somehow imply that some sandwiches are racist. It’s not too much to ask.
Of course, they should always keep the Uranus jokes coming.
Scroll down to see what we mean. These headlines had us shaking our head and rolling our eyes.
1. Hey, at least they improved
Practice makes perfect.
We’re not sure how they were reading and writing prior to this, but let’s just keep them on the right track.
2. Done and done
So, did this writer technically follow directions or not?
He got the font right!
3. It’s a horrible way to go
With all due respect to the deceased, we think if you’re killed it’s normally to the death.
But maybe this was written by someone from Mississippi, so let’s give them a break.
4. We’re going to go with “no”
Please tell us that second line is part of a different story.
Sandwiches aren’t racist, the people who make sandwiches are (sometimes). But we don’t think the peanut butter nor the jelly plays much of a roll in any of it.
5. Graphic design is a real skill
This is why you pay a professional to do a layout.
Neither of these stories are something to laugh about.
6. You don’t say…
Wow. You learn something new every day.
We feel like we’re all good after reading the headline on this. No need to dig in deeper.
7. Say what?
Just…no. You know this had to be intentional. And it’s so rude.
Also, it’s spelled Colón.
8. “Mistake”
Frankly, we’re just annoyed that the photo is sideways.
Was she offended to come in 87th?
9. The pig’s revenge
Paralysis isn’t funny. This father of two really was left paralyzed after eating an undercooked pork chop.
But the pork didn’t do it, the listeria meningitis bug living in it did.
10. Damn
Well, strike that off the calendar.
Now what are we going to do with all of those “Merry Jellyfish Apocalypse” cards?
11. Stop blaming the food!
If you want to blame a pork chop, ok, we get it. But back off the Cheetos.
All they ever did was be delicious. It’s not their fault you raised a brat.
12. Uh, not that we know of
Frankly, we think it’s a question that doesn’t really need to be asked?
Oh, wait, you mean the planet? Ok then. Yes, it does need to be asked.
And the answer is “probably, but it was 3 or 4 billion years ago.”
13. Rude!
Seagulls are jerks, but we didn’t realize they were hostage takers.
Do these folks not have a phone?
How big was this flock of seagulls?
14. What is wrong with people?!
The implication made us roll our eyes.
How fragile your masculinity must be to think something could “make you gay.”
15. We’d watch it
Is this your dream job? It sounds like a nightmare to us.
But we’re willing to apply for the job of being professionally unimpressed by things.
16. Florida man…
C’mon, Florida men, get your act together.
You’re going to run out of mayors pretty soon.
17. Cheerio, good sir
Actually, that’s kind of cute.
Or maybe these parents should talk to their kids more and let them hear less Peppa Pig.
Then again, they could be learning much worse things from TV.
18. Now this is justice
Maybe just make him watch the first part of the movie.
The rest is pretty delightful.
19. Knickers in a twist
Good job, Knickers!
Now, what exactly constitutes “too big to eat”? We bet we know a carnivore or two willing to try.
20. Judge and jury
There’s judgement and then there’s just not wanting to see strangers naked.
Put your clothes back on, bro.
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