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20 things dads do that drive us totally bonkers (even though we love them)

By Faith Tap
July 6th, 2020

Dads are great (at least most of them), but they tend to have some pretty common quirks that range across both generations and cultures. And while parenthood looks different all around the world, you can count on most dads to annoy their kids in largely the same ways.

There have been a few Twitter trends about things dads do that have given us some insight into how common some of these behaviors really are.

And while we’re not trying to mock dads, they sure made us laugh – and they no doubt made some dad’s chuckle as well. Partly because they know they’re driving us crazy.

Here are 20 of our favorites:

1. They’re their own GPS

Sigh. How many times have you ended up on a strange road to nowhere because dad didn’t realize that Google Maps was more up-to-date than his own memory?

And why does he always think he knows better than the machine whose job it is to tell people where to go?!

(But let’s face it, he’s not always wrong – just don’t tell him that.)

2. Shake it

OMG, this dad habit. Why?

To prove they won’t drop them?

Do they taste better “loosened up”?

Dads, what are you trying to prove?

3. Shopping with dad

Let’s give dads some credit for raising daughters too. And while no one looks forward to shopping with dad, sometimes it’s necessary.

And there are lots of reasons dads don’t understand (or want to know) why girls want/need more underwear. But we’re still betting that a big one is that they still have boxers from the 90s and don’t even know what’s wrong with that.

4. Gift list

It’s pretty much a miracle if you can get your dad to give you a gift idea at all. They never want anything.

But when they do, it’s always something so practical that you don’t even know how to go about getting is – like new door hardware or roof shingles, or…in this case, driveway gravel.

Is this their way of saying they just want cash?

5. Nap champions

Dads are good snoozers. All that snack shaking and driveway gravel laying with tire a guy out.

We just don’t know why multiple naps a day seem in order. Why get up at 5 am and pretend you’re such a champ if you need to catch up on the rest later?

6. Protection mode

Sitting with arms crossed normally means you’re trying to keep something in.

Let out your feelings, dad. Just don’t do it by suddenly yelling at the TV while your watching sports – that scares the crap out of everyone, especially the dog.

7. Loose change

Most of us don’t even carry cash anymore, much less coins!

And yet dad always has change. And they don’t even necessarily use it, it just seems like emptying change and keys out of their pockets is a necessary part of their day.

8. It won’t clean itself

We’re so confused. Why waste the water?

Who even notices a clean driveway?

9. Photographic money memory

Dads are so proud that they bought something 25 years ago for only $8.50, especially if that thing now costs $10.50.

Think of all that money saved.

They also want you to know how much that savings adds up over time.

10. Never pay tolls

We don’t care what road you took and if you found a new route somewhere. We get that it makes you less efficient on the GPS you love arguing with so much, but our main concern is getting from point A to point B quickly.

But dads really seem to hate paying tolls, so it’s really all about telling you how to get somewhere without taking the highway.

11. Afraid to love

Just don’t even listen to dad when he says he doesn’t want a pet. He probably doesn’t realize the truth.

But dads have a lot of love and sometimes it’s just easier to give it to something that doesn’t ever talk back.

Just don’t get too jealous when his favorite child ends up having fur. Let him have his thing.

12. It’s not a contest

The scream-sneeze should be outlawed. It’s taken years off of our lives – AND it helps spread germs.

No one NEEDS to sneeze that loud. It’s not a physical necessity no matter how much he says “that’s just the way my body works.”

This is one area in which dad just needs to practice being more polite. Sorry, dads.

13. Evolve already

Those hunter-gatherer instincts really kick in in the summertime when the grill comes out.

Woman make salad. Man play with dead animal and fire.

Grunt grunt.

14. The temperature police

Yes, dad, we’re trying to waste all of your money by air conditioning the whole neighborhood. How’d you guess?

We know you, personally, have an ideal temperature (that probably isn’t even comfortable for you) that you’ve decided saves maximum money and prolongs the life of your A/C unit. We know you’ve spent time thinking about it.

We just want to be comfortable – or else why even have it?

15. Masters of efficiency

Dads really do think that making someone put the breaks on their life to just make a call is the most efficient way to communicate. And it’s probably because they’ll always make time for you.

And they have big fingers and it takes them forever to text.

16. Avoiding traffic

It doesn’t matter how close the score is or if you’d like to stay for the credits.

Dad needs to be in the very front of that inevitable traffic jam.

17. Safety first

We can’t blame dads for wanting to protect their family and property.

But how long do you need to spend getting the perfect angle on that security camera?

18. Master of his domain

A yard is somehow an outward projection of manhood. Your grass must be green and uniformly cut.

Anything else is an admission of some sort of failure that we just don’t get. And we truly don’t think anyone else is looking that closely.

19. Pocket power

For real.

Phones are so complicated now that it’s pretty hard to butt dial. Yet somehow they manage it.

20. Someone’s got to eat it

NEVER forget the coleslaw.

Yes, it will smell bad in the heat and attract flies, but the whole barbecue is going to be a disaster if you forget it.

***

Dads, we love you.

But could you please work on that whole sneezing thing?

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

About the Author
Faith Tap
Faith Tap (FaithTap.com LLC) was launched in 2013 and has the strong belief that inspiring stories have a great impact on the lives of their readers. Our faithful followers agree and have responded by our website showing rapid growth in popularity as our stories have been shared around the world reaching over 30 million users monthly. We strive to be an oasis from negative and controversial news and bring hope and smiles to every person we touch.
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