How do kids manage to thrive despite so many skipped meals? How do their organs continue to function if their diets consist solely of chicken nuggets and jelly beans?

Any parent who has tried to feed a child knows the pain and annoyance of the food tantrum, the downright refusal, or the clean-up after a meal during which no food seems to have made it into that tiny mouth.

These 20 parents managed to sum up the sport of kid feeding perfectly:

1. All food is a game

There are a lot of things your kid is going to do with food and eating it is pretty far down the list.

But, hey, it’s not a parent’s fault. Sometimes “dinosaur” is the only “flavor” of chicken nugget they’ll allow on their plates.

2. Cheese makes everything better

To be fair, melted cheese is a perfectly reasonable solution to a bad moment far into adulthood.

But after a while, you start to wonder if melted cheesestuff and ketchup really have enough nutrients to constitute a child’s two main food groups.

3. Style is everything

Don’t expect your child to ignore the food’s presentation. Presentation is EVERYTHING.

Put the fork on the wrong side? Tantrum.

Sandwich cut wrong? Apocalypse.

4. The mess somehow outweighs the food

The law of conservation of mass states that in any closed system, the mass of the system must remain constant over time – it can neither be created nor destroyed.

But try telling that to a toddler because they can AND WILL defy physics when it comes to making crumbs.

5. Delicacies

Toddlers have two modes of eating – one is to house something down like Cookie Monster.

But the other is to take the world’s tiniest bites – so tiny that you wonder if they aren’t burning more calories just chewing it.

6. The menu always sucks

Even adults have their moments when nothing looks or sounds good.

But when you’re a kid, for some reason everything your parents come up with for dinner sounds like the worst idea ever.

7. Changing needs

Did you ever just wake up and hate something?

Well, your toddler did.

8. The waste

Wasting food is terrible. But it’s also something you just have to deal with when you have a kid.

Unless you want to eat the bowl of cereal they somehow managed to step on.

9. A civilized mealtime

What sort of biological mechanism makes it so that toddlers are only hungry when it’s not time to eat?

How is that an evolutionary advantage?

10. Candy for everything

Give a kid candy, it’s all they’ll ever want.

That stuff was made to be addictive.

11. Little critics

Think the judges on food shows are harsh?

Try feeding a pre-schooler.

12. No, not THAT one

Cheese is the best. Except when it’s the wrong cheese.

There will be no warning when cheese desires change. You just have to be ready for it.

13. Those “other” parents

Maybe there is some wizard parent out there whose kids eat all sorts of healthy stuff all the time.

Don’t worry, someday you’ll find your superpower too.

14. But I HAAAAATE it

Hey, any broccoli or broccoli-like substance that hits a kid’s tastebuds is officially a parenting win.

They can hate it all they want.

15. Ruining dinner

Boogers are food but vegetables aren’t?

Welcome to the food pyramid of anyone too young to be reasoned with.

16. It’s hot/cold/sour/gross/spicy/burnt/blue

There’s always something wrong.

Why is “spicy” such a popular made-up complaint?

17. Food detectives

Don’t expect your kid to be able to find their own left foot.

Do expect that they will find the one tiny thing that makes dinner completely inedible for them.

18. The salad’s always greener…

Oh, YOUR food?! Now, your food looks great.

In fact, “your food” makes up the bottom of some children’s food pyramids.

19. The toddler special

Candy and pizza, together at last.

That’s really not the worst thing that could happen when you let your 3-year-old make dinner.

We just want to know if she managed to gag that combo down.

20. Travel time

It’s nice for the produce to get out and enjoy the world sometimes.

Makes it much riper for when you inevitably have to eat it because your kid won’t.

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Why do we even try?

Oh right, because we have to.

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