Empty nest syndrome when children move out inspire dad to start rescuing neglected dogs
The 55-year-old Paul Viner from Old Harlow, Essex, is a father of three daughters who recently completely turned his life around for the better once he started rescuing dogs from abuse and neglect.
Viner has been severely depressed for a while after his three daughters left the home to live on their own. His three daughters, Leah, Gemma, and Kealy, 28, 31, and 33 years old, respectively, all moved out. Their dad was extremely unhappy about the empty house, even though it’s considered normal and healthy to move out of the parents’ house as an adult.
It’s actually something that occurs often and is referred to as the “empty nest syndrome”.
“Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time, such as to live on their own or to attend a college or university,” Wikipedia explains.
“Since young adults moving out from their families’ house is generally a normal and healthy event, the symptoms of empty nest syndrome often go unrecognized. This can result in depression and a loss of purpose for parents, since the departure of their children from “the nest” leads to adjustments in parents’ lives.”
The man felt like he wasn’t wanted anymore and had the signs of a mid-life crisis.
Kealy works as an occupational therapist and left the home shortly after she got married. The middle sister Leah is an employee at a travel company and moved in with Kealy and her family. Finally, the youngest daughter Leah also moved out two years ago.
“I was really unhappy. My daughters had left and I developed empty nest syndrome. I didn’t really know who I was,” Paul explained to The Daily Mail.
Things were tough and life wasn’t easy for the man, but sometime later, he found a beautiful new purpose.
Even though it’s cliché, Paul said that a lot of his friends with similar unhappy thoughts about a mid-life crisis were buying cars and Harley Davidson motorcycles, but he wasn’t a big fan of that idea.
‘”I couldn’t do any of that, but I was looking to feel needed again.”
“I did think there was a gap in our lives when our daughters moved out. I thought maybe we could get a dog because it would be nice to do things together,” his wife Toni added.
Viner had come across a local animal charity that rescued stray dogs, usually from abroad.
‘Rescued’ is definitely the right term here, because all of the pups that they bring into the UK were originally scheduled to be put down in a gruesome killing station.
To make the house feel a little bit more vivid and active, the couple decided to get an adorable dog. The Belgian shepherd who listened to the name Shane was adopted by Paul and his wife back in 2014 – the first dog that they rescued at the animal organization Mutts in Distress.
Apparently, Shane had already been through a horrible life, but that was all about to change. You can definitely tell in the pictures that the poor four-footer was in very rough shape.
“I stumbled across a website for rescue dogs and I was shocked at what I read, the horror these dogs go through. I refocused and took on our first rescue Shane. He had a horrible life and hated the world.”
“Shane had been in and out of rescues through no fault of his own he had suffered a horrible beating and was dumped in a ditch full of slurry.”
Paul still recalls their first encounter, and they instantly bonded.
“He fell in love with us the moment we met- and so did we. This dog that growled at people just licked us and wanted to go on walks.”
Sadly, Shane passed away a year later due to paralysis from a previous injury.
“We said we could never put ourselves through that again but we both said it was selfish to put our emotions before giving these dogs that needed homes a home.”
A little bit over a week later, Paul adopted another four-footer, Sheba. The poor animal was disabled and tiny. The German Shepherd also still had a very long way to go, with months of therapy and almost half a dozen operations planned.
“From day one she was an extremely loving little dog but living on the mean streets of Sofia, Bulgaria had left her terrified of any other dog she encountered.”
Sheba was a very shy dog, but Paul already had a great idea to help her out a bit: he took in another rescue dog, Sky.
Sky was actually found near a killing station in Spain, but he was rescued just in time by a local animal organization.
“These killing stations appall me, the level of cruelty is horrific. But where there is evil there is good too,” Paul said.
Even though Paul might’ve rescued these dogs, the four-footers also rescued him and made him climb out of his depression.
“I personally feel that I have a very strong spiritual and emotional bond with my dogs. We’ll stop and sit together, they snuggle into me, I’ll give them each a cuddle, then believe me, life suddenly feels better.”
“They just make you feel a thousand times better. They are our babies and are so protective of us,” his wife chipped in.
Paul even wrote a book about his personal story and named it after his three dogs.
The man hopes that releasing this book will garner more attention to rescue dogs, but he also hopes that it makes the topic of mental health more discussable.
“I decided that it was time for me to be openly honest, and if by chance my attempts at writing a book would ever be published, just maybe other men would realise they are not alone.”
“My wife and mother were both shocked when they read my book, and tried to question what I had been through. I told them it was in the past, I was over it and needed to concentrate on the positives, not the negatives.”
What an absolutely beautiful rescue story!
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