Nicole Duggan of Cork, Ireland remembered a heartbreaking incident that happened to her and her son Riley a few years back and chose to share it with the site Love What Matters. It was an attempt to open people’s eyes to how their thoughtless words can hurt so much, even so much later.

At the time, Riley was 2 years old and in the middle of getting an autism assessment. His mother already knew the truth and had come to terms with it – at least until she got a glimpse of how the world would treat a child who was “different.”

They were on a trip to see Santa one day and Riley especially loved the lights.

“That day, Riley was so excited. It wasn’t that he understood we were going to see Santa, it was because he loved lights. And boy, were there loads there. His face lit up with everyone he saw. With every tree we passed. With ever reindeer he saw. They all lit up. He was in heaven. You see, when my little boy is excited, he flaps his hands. He jumps up and down. He hums. He squeals. He can’t speak, but he shows his excitement in a different way. Riley’s way,” Duggan explained.

She watched her toddler beam and squeal with happiness. But Riley had an overly emotive way of expressing himself – one that people noticed.

“In my head, we were like any other family. We were enjoying our experience. The more he flapped, the more people stared. The more he squealed, the more heads turned.

The more he paced up and down, the more mumbles you could hear directed at him.”

Knowing that her son would soon be officially diagnosed with autism, the mom was feeling vulnerable- and she was simply there to enjoy a special family moment. But people’s judgment was something she could feel and simply couldn’t ignore.

“I will never forget that woman. I will never forget the way she looked at my little boy. The way she stared. The look of disgust on her face.”

Riley didn’t notice though and he moved to sit on a bench in the waiting area before going in to see Santa.

Eventually, a little girl came over to him and they exchanged a moment that warmed Duggan’s heart.

“She sat, she looked curiously, she said hello. At that time, Riley would never acknowledge anyone, so I answered her. And as I did, he turned to her and smiled. The biggest, happiest smile I have seen. He had seen her. He had noticed her. His hands flapped. He squealed. It was his way of communicating. My heart burst because he had, in his own way, answered her.”

But the little girl’s mother didn’t like what she saw and she decided to do something we should all find unacceptable in a civil society.

“She was making her way over. ‘No, no, don’t sit next to him darling, move away’, and she moved the little girl. As she walked away, she made a comment to me. ‘Maybe you should try those special Santa’s, you know, for kids like him.’”

Duggan was understandably stunned and hurt.

“In that moment, my heart shattered. In that moment, that woman had ruined EVERY aspect of our day. In that moment, I knew I had to breath, or I would cry my eyes out. Not because of what she said to me. Because I knew my little boy was right where he was meant to be. He was going to see Santa. And he was happy.”

What really bothered Duggan is that the mother was so likely to pass her ignorance on to her child.

“My heart crumbled because this woman was going to teach her child that kids, like my little boy, are weird. This woman was teaching her child that autism is bad. She should not be near kids like him.”

The only silver lining was the possibility that her daughter might lead by example instead.

“That little girl saw no difference, she saw a friend. She could teach her mother about acceptance. About love. About understanding. She could teach her mother different is not less, and everyone in this world is an equal.”

While the story was written 4 years after it all happened, Duggan can’t help reflect on it as she thinks about her young son navigating through the world.

She called it one of the “hardest moments I have experienced as a mom.”

“Disability comes with judgment. It comes with the stares, the comments, the looks. It comes with the hard days. You learn to grow a thick skin. To blank them out. To just focus on what is important. If I had one wish, it would be that no other mother felt how I felt that day. That no other parent would experience this ignorance.”

At the end of the day, she’s proud of who son is.

She should be – and we shouldn’t ever make a person feel “lesser than.” It says far more about us than it does about them.

Be sure to CLICK HERE to read Duggan’s full story.

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Source: Love What Matters, My Boy Blue via Facebook, @my_boy_blue_2017 via Instagram