For those who are or have been married, it’s no surprise that you don’t always end up with the partner you had imagined. In fact, daydreams rarely do come true – and sometimes that’s a good thing.

Those who happy in their relationships know that the qualities they once considered important aren’t the ones that ended up sealing the deal or making them stick it out in the long run.

Now that we have online dating, finding a potential partner is like trying to order off a menu, but his idea and her idea of a “sense of humor,” for example, don’t always mean the same thing.

Recently, Pennsylvania mom Kari Boyer posted some words of wisdom for Christian women about what she considered to be the important qualities in a spouse and it went viral. In fact, since February 9th, it’s been shared over a quarter of a million times from her Facebook page alone!

It all began with a seemingly odd photo of her teenage daughter laying on the bathroom floor on a towel.

Her dad is curled up behind her with an arm around her waist, comforting her.

It’s clear the girl is sick.

Of course, caring for sick children can fall to both parents, but it’s often typical for kids to want their moms and for moms to be the ones to hold their hair back, stroke their fevered heads, and tell them it’s going to be ok. But in this case, dad was on the job.

Her Christian wisdom can apply to just about anyone, even if praying is not your style. Boyer’s advice is aimed at “young ladies” who will begin praying for a husband of a specific kind and she told them what she thought it was important to pray for:

“Young ladies…pray for the kind of man that will lay next to your future 13yr old, on the bathroom floor praying over her because she can’t keep a drop of water down. Pray for a man that will carry her down the stairs, to the car and spend all night in the hospital by her side. Pray for a spouse that will consistently put you and your children first, above himself- but NOT above the Lord.”

The most important parts of relationships are rarely the most glamorous.

While we don’t often think about how our partners will deal with our sick teenagers when we’re still so young ourselves, many people find that a caring nature is something they should have been on the lookout for from the beginning.

“Pray for a spouse that will wake up at 6:30am on Sunday and get his family around and lead them to the House of God. Because, if he can wake up at 4:30am on Saturday to hunt… he can wake up at 6:30 on Sunday to lead his family to salvation,” Boyer continued.

Even in a non-Christian household, this is worth considering because it’s really about priorities.

If you can make sacrifices to make yourself happy, you should be able to do the same for your family, whether it’s waking up for church or any other tradition.

After Boyer’s 15 years of marriage, 3 living children, and one who passed away, she admitted she’s gone through “many devastating trials and lots of heartache.” And she believes young women should be open to giving their lives to the man God sends them.

Her most important words:

“Do. Not. Settle.”

That doesn’t mean a person has to be perfect, they just need to fit what you need and share your values to the extent that you can love and challenge each other in healthy ways.

“No amount of waiting for a husband is worse than settling for the wrong spouse and losing years of your life living outside of the will of God.”

While we know people change and we’re not going to be the same people at 40 that we were at 20, it’s worth waiting until you know who you are before you decide what you need in a partner.

Boyer’s closing words were ones of patience:

“Just wait. And while you wait, pray that the Lord would not only prepare your future spouse, but that He would prepare you to be the kind of wife He is leading you to be.

Wait for the one God has for you. Don’t give pieces of yourself away to every man that crosses your path and shows you a little affection.”

While many commenters lamented what they perceived as a lack of single people out there with the right qualities, it was yet another sign of impatience. There won’t be a line-up of perfect partners waiting for you to choose from. You just have to give some serious thought to which relationships to invest in.

And, most importantly, don’t settle for a relationship that you know won’t stand the test of time.

Be sure to scroll down below to see Boyer’s original viral post.

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Source: Kari Boyer via Facebook