First dates: they can be the fun start of a great love story or a total nightmare.

A lot of this comes down to your chemistry together and your amount of shared interests, but we’re all also judging the other person’s manners the whole time too.

We all have our tastes, no matter how far out there it may seem to the other person.

The person you’re dating might even judge you on something you had never considered before.

And early dates, as fun and romantic as they can be, are also a game of quickly judging the other person.

I mean, it sounds bad, but no one wants to waste their time on an entire relationship with a person if they noticed from the jump that your differences were just too big to overcome.

Akinbosola Adeyemi is a relationship coach who has an interesting piece of advice: don’t take home food after a first date.

While it might not seem like a big deal, some people can really take this to heart.

Adeyemi explains by writing on Twitter:

“It’s tacky to go and a date and ask for a take away because you can’t finish what you ordered or you want more to take home for yourself or your hungry friends. Don’t do it. It’s a major turn. You’d mostly likely not get a second date.”

Basically, taking home leftovers could be interpreted as you using your date for a free meal, which doesn’t make anyone feel good.

But there’s a number of qualms with this argument here.

I mean, this is pretty judgmental and leaps to one specific conclusion. Of course, no one wants to feel used or feel like their date is more interested in free food than meeting a cool person.

But, people have all sorts of reasons for wanting to take home leftovers. Some people have financial struggles that make them much more frugal and interested in stretching out a meal. Some people believe in acts of kindness and give their leftovers to the homeless. Or simply, some people don’t believe in wasting food, due to environmental reasons.

Adeyemi doubled down on his opinion in another tweet.

Again, a date is not about how much food you can eat and take home with you. A date should not be centered around food. A date is a avenue where 2 people meet up to see if there’s a vibe and connection that might lead to knacks or a serious relationship. It’s not about food.

— Akinbosola ogunsanya (@MrAkinbosola) November 9, 2020

Adeyemi is entitled to voice his opinions, and some people might find it helpful, but this also might be an unfair judgment.

In fact, if you see someone doing this, could actually be a sign that they are a considerate and thoughtful person–two traits you should want in a partner!

While it is easy to judge people quickly, and some judgment can be helpful on a first date, your judgments are not the full picture of the person.

Meet Mindful offers this important counter perspective to Adeyemi’s point:

“There’s a reason for everything—ones you’ll find out if you stick around long enough. Life is complicated and sometimes people choose to keep their cards close to their chest until they’re sure. Just because they’re not sure now, doesn’t mean they won’t be soon. If it feels right, wait, without pressure.”

If you’re with the right person, they will explain all their odd habits to you in due time.

So yes, if someone is a jerk, don’t go on a second date with them. But if they just do something you find a little odd, like requesting to take home their leftovers, give them a chance to explain themselves to you.

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

Source: Meet Mindful, NDRC, Twitter – Akinbosola ogunsanya