We cannot choose the family we are born into nor our parents, and yet our relationship with them is one of the most fundamental factors in our lives. Their life-long parenting can influence our future and sometimes our decisions. In this article, we will particularly explore the mother daughter relationship and we will view some tips as too how to achieve a balanced and a healthy relationship between them.

Being a daughter myself, I have always had a very close relationship with both of my parents, but particularly with my mom. The relationship between a mother and a daughter goes through different stages as life evolves and we can only observe that there are different types of adult daughter and mother relationships. Some stay close and some get estranged as the time passes by. Some evolve into healthy friendships and some become a bit competitive. One is for sure, it takes two to balance their relationship.

The Psych Central published a lovely list of tips to help improve the communication and connection between a mother and daughter, avoiding unnecessary clashes. Here are some of them:

1. Take Initiative

As Linda Mintle, PhD, marriage and therapist advises in her book I love my Mohter, But…Practical Help to Get the Most Out of Your Relationships, the key in the relationship is the self-reflection and the will to do something to change a situation in which both parties are hesitant to make a move.

2. Talk and listen to Each Other

Sometimes their relationship is so close that they have the illusion that they know how the other person feels and thinks. And, this assumption can cause a lot of problems and clashes. This is a usual misunderstanding when we are close to someone, so here the most important thing is the communication, say what you feel and think, and in return listen actively to the other. Be honest and understanding.

3. The Power of Forgiveness

As human beings we aren’t unmistakable, both mothers and daughters are going to make mistakes that might cause a rift and damage their relationship. It’s very important to learn and forgive each other as it’s the only way for a relationship to improve and move forward. As Mintle says forgiveness is the key to well-being.

4. Boundaries

The balance between a mother and daughter can quickly shift from one side to the other. As adults they have to respect each other and that is why it’s so important from the start to discuss and set boundaries. It isn’t uncommon when a mother or daughter feels entitled to meddle in the other’s life, and often to strongly criticize their decisions, emotionally hurting them in the process. This can be only solved if both parties respect and accept each other boundaries.

5. Forget the Past

It is important to stay in the present and try not to bring up mistakes or negative experiences from the past. Remembering and referring frequently to past mistakes or disagreements in present conversations and arguments can only fuel new clashes. Remember tip no. 3, forgiveness is the key. Invest anew in your relationship and leave behind wounds of the past.

These were some tips that could inspire and build healthier and more successful mother and daughters relationships. Remember that all relationships are structured around mutual love, respect and understanding. Moms remember to leave your daughters fly and daughters remember that your moms might not be always physically there but you are always in their mind.

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Source: Shareably, Psychcentral, Dr.Linda Mintle