With social media now playing a major role in our lives, many people feel the desire to post about everything they do and experience. Social media has made it possible for us to broadcast our lives to people all across the world and this has caused significant changes in society.

Many people are learning that their lives are often better the more they ignore social media, however.

This is especially the case as it concerns our relationships.

We have been taught to seek online validation.

People who spend a lot of time on social media have ended up training their brains to seek validation online. This can come from someone agreeing with a comment they made, liking a picture, or otherwise providing a positive response to something they’ve posted.

Unfortunately, this leads to us developing an association between online “likes” and feelings of self-worth. If your comment didn’t get enough likes then you’re stupid or not funny. If your photo didn’t get the response you wanted then you’re ugly and your clothes are all wrong.

These are toxic thought patterns that can lead to depression and feelings of low self-esteem.

Living for the Gram.

Another aspect of social media that is detrimental to our happiness is the impact it has on how we lead our lives “IRL” (in real life). We have become so motivated to get validation from our online presence that it impacts how we actually live.

Marriage proposals, vacations, even our children’s first day at school have become opportunities to receive validation online. This comes at the expense of enjoying those things in the moment, however. When we worry so much about how something will look on social media, we prevent ourselves from truly appreciating it as it happens.

Sometimes posting about your relationship is done to overcompensate for what is missing.

The posts your friends make that seem to imply everything is perfect in their relationship are often not accurate. According to Psychology Today, these lovey-dovey posts are often being done to makeup for affection not present in the actual relationship.

“Those who are less satisfied may post Facebook content that shows levels of affection that they aren’t displaying in their actual offline relationship. These individuals then believe that engaging in these types of posts has helped their relationship.”

Happy relationships come from quality time together and affection.

The more time you spend focussing on your online life, the less you spend on your IRL relationships. Solid relationships involve quality time spent together, affection, and each party’s desire for the other to be happy. It’s hard to achieve that if the end goal of all your relationships is to receive validation online.

Instead of worrying about how the two of you look on Instagram together, take the time to really and truly be together in the moment.

What does your partner want out of life and how can you help them get it? What experiences do you want to share with your partner?

These are all better questions to ask than what Instagram filter the two of you look the best with.

Make your relationship stronger without social media.

Mystical Raven suggests making your relationship strong without social media by incorporating offline dates, being honest with one another, being self-reflective, and apologizing and forgiving.

One of the most important things in anyone’s life is helping your partner be as happy as possible. You are so important to their life that the better partner you are to them, the better their life is and the happier they are. Instagram and Twitter are rarely able to help with this.

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Source: Brides/Psychology Today