Many of us grew up in times where parents were not only allowed to but expected to physically and emotionally abuse their children.

There are still pockets of groups who still try to promote these authoritarian methods today in order to have children submit to their will.

However, science, and those who have been abused, tell us that physical and verbal abuse has long-lasting harmful effects on children.

While using spanking as a form of discipline has gone down in the last 50 years, people still scream at their children.

Better Help reports that it’s common for people to use the same parenting techniques that were used on them.

The New York Times reports that children in households where there is regular shouting have led these children to have lower self-esteem and higher rates of depression.

A 2014 study in The Journal of Child Development found that yelling produces results similar to physical punishment.

It causes increased levels of anxiety, stress, depression, social problems, negative self-view, aggression, bullying behavior, and behavioral problems. Yelling is found to be a failing of self-control on the parent’s behalf and serves more as a release for the parent than effective discipline for a child.

“How many times in your parenting life have you thought to yourself, after yelling at your kids, ‘Well, that was a good decision…’? It doesn’t make you look authoritative. It makes you look out of control to your kids. It makes you look weak. And you’re yelling, let’s be honest, because you are weak. Yelling, even more than spanking, is the response of a person who doesn’t know what else to do,” The New York Times writes.

The short-term effects of yelling at children include aggression, anxiety, and withdrawal.

One study found that verbal abuse created more behavioral problems in kids than corporal punishment.

Boys who were verbally abused were found to have a lower level of self-control. Girls who were verbally abused were more likely to react with anger or frustration.

Children also were more likely to yell back at their parents since children are prone to mirroring the behavior of their parents.

They believe you’re teaching them how you want them to communicate.

If the child isn’t becoming aggressive you might notice them withdrawing from you. They may also be looking to their peers or other adults they trust rather than relying on you.

Children whose parents stopped yelling at them ended up being better behaved than children who continued to be yelled at on a regular basis.

It’s clear that the consequences of yelling at children are evident and long-lasting.

“The results of the study indicate that children are inclined to treat other people the same way that people treat them. Unless there has been an intervention, the habits and tendencies children develop as a result of their childhood relationships will follow them into adulthood. Adults that refuse to stop yelling at children can cause them to bully other children because they tend to have a distorted perspective of what healthy boundaries should look like. This study and others confirm that yelling is particularly harmful to children when it’s accompanied by threats and insults,” Better Help writes.

Parents who do yell at their children should work toward curbing this behavior and their emotions.

If you do find yourself yelling, stop and apologize and try to clearly express your feelings and emotions.

You can find additional tips here.

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Source: The New York Times, Better Help