If you’ve been looking for the most standard of American suburban automobiles in “OK to great” shape, you might want to consider purchasing Patrick Fellows minivan.

Fellows has talked up the vehicle so much on his Facebook page that the ad has now been shared over 5k times.

What can a minivan do for you?

Even if you’re repulsed by the idea of a minivan, it’s hard not to at least take a look through the photos after reading the description “Milf Millenium Falcon.”

The 2012 Honda Odyssey is apparently a Target-shopping mother’s dream. Quite literally.

“Ever have a kid under one arm, groceries, a purse, your phone and keys in the other hand and wonder how you’re going to not get mugged at Target?? Faster than you can say “OPEN SESAME” you hit the button and the doors open like some sort of Milf Millenium Falcon! Throw all that shit into the air, the purse lands on the passenger seat, the kid lands strapped in, the groceries all hang by the handles on the fancy little hooks, and you flip your beautiful hair around like an 80’s Prell commercial, while, “RUN THE WORLD” by Beyonce magically starts playing, loud, with authority.”

Wouldn’t that be nice?

But the fantasy doesn’t end there. If you insist, Fellows will bring the car to you and possibly even clean it first, if you insist. As a bonus, it’s never been totaled!

“As you’ll see, this baby is in near ‘OK TO GREAT’ shape. She’s never been wrecked, has a few scratches but is no worse for wear. The interior is great! The leather smooth and the driver’s seat doesn’t look like a long haul trucker has been smashing his sweaty ass on it for thousands of miles. You’ll see there is sand on the floor, because we use it and if that’s what holds you back, go pay full retail somewhere else. I promise to wash and vacuum it before I deliver it to your door. THAT’S RIGHT! DELIVERY!!”

Fellows lives in the Baton Rouge, Louisiana area, so if you’re in Alaska, you’re probably out of luck.

Man-friendly

Move over MILFs, because husbands are going to be after your wheels as soon as you bring this baby home. Apparently, it’s part man cave, part almost-a-truck:

“Men, don’t feel left out here. You too can sack up and buy yourself a rolling man cave/stabbin cabin, replete with plugs in the back to charge the batteries for your drills and what not. A fully functional DVD w/ two sets of headphones, means you can watch Gladiator or Caddyshack or whatever the eff on your next trip to Disney. Speaking of which, I’ve driven this thing to Disney twice and it never disappointed. I just pointed her in the right direction and BLAMMO, Happiest Place on Earth, here we come! Minivans are the new F-150’s so get with the game, losers (I say this affectionately).”

Who could possibly turn it down?

Perhaps everyone since there’s no update on the minivan being sold yet.

Deal of the century

To make it even more enticing, Fellows has priced this magical minivan under $10k – $9,999, to be exact.

And he’ll take offers if YOU’RE up for it:

“…low ball away, but know that banter is going to be epic! Also, know the agreed upon price will have to end in a 3, 7 or 9. Superstitions.”

His number is in the ad below if you’re tempted. But make sure you don’t call because he won’t answer. Just text him.

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Source: Facebook – Patrick Fellows,