Content warning: infant loss

Finding out you’re about to become parents brings a different type of joy. Emotions are more intense, the excitement never seems to die down, and preparing doesn’t feel like work at all. But sometimes, the puzzle pieces don’t fall the way we imagine.

Millie Smith and Lewis Cann were over the moon when they found out Millie was pregnant.

The mom-to-be had this strong feeling that she was going to have twins and amazingly, she was right. Ten weeks in and it was confirmed – she was going to have twin girls.

But during one of their checkups, Millie and Lewis were informed that one of the twins had anencephaly.

Anencephaly is a serious birth defect wherein the upper part of the neural tube doesn’t close all the way. This defect results in the baby being born without the forebrain and the cerebrum, while the other parts are not covered by bone or skin.

Once doctors confirmed this condition in one of their daughters, Millie and Lewis had to accept that the twin with anencephaly would not survive after childbirth, while the other would be at risk.

Still, they decided to continue with the pregnancy.

The couple even came up with names for their daughters: Skye and Callie.

In an interview with Today, Millie explained,

“We knew that Skye needed to have a name before she was born. Knowing she would only survive for seconds or minutes, I wanted her to be named during that time. Skye was somewhere we knew she would always be, that we could look up at the sky and remember our baby.”

The big day came and Millie delivered both twins.

Millie and Lewis spent three hours with Skye before finally saying goodbye to her.

“Lewis and I cuddled with Skye and talked to her about our family and how we wished she could have grown up with her sister. We told her how much we loved her. And I told her I was sorry that I hadn’t created her properly. I felt like it was my fault. I knew it wasn’t, but I always felt guilty. We told her she would never be forgotten.”

A few days later, during a visit to Callie in the Neonatal unit, Millie recalls the moment she felt her heart break.

It was when an innocent parent glanced over and remarked how lucky Millie was that she didn’t have twins. While the new mom knew the other parent didn’t know her story, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling so she made a hasty exit.

From this stemmed a thoughtful idea that Millie didn’t realize would impact many others: for hospitals to put purple butterfly stickers on the cribs of babies who survived the death of birth siblings.

Why the purple butterfly? Millie explained,

“I chose butterflies, as I felt it was fitting to remember the babies that flew away, the color purple because it is suitable for both boys or girls.”

Along with each sticker, a sign:

“When visiting this Neonatal unit as either a partner, relative or friend please be aware of the butterfly logo on each cot. This represents a baby that was part of a multiple pregnancy but sadly all of the babies did not survive.”

The purple butterflies were first displayed at Kingston Hospital in England, but it didn’t take long for other hospitals to catch on.

Millie and Lewis dealt with the heartbreaking loss admirably, always taking into consideration other families who experienced the same tragedy. They even set up the Skye High Foundation which helped raise funds for butterfly stickers. This also paved the way for support groups and counseling for others.

The next time you see a purple butterfly sticker on a crib, remember to say a silent prayer for the babies who didn’t make it, the parents who are grieving, and the little ones who survived.

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Source: US Magazine, CDC,