Shantell just assumed that he would never be adopted.

As a teen in the foster system, he knew most potential parents were looking for kids much younger.

“When you get start to get older in the system, you start to feel like no one wants you…,” he told Aid to Adoption of Special Kids in an interview.

Teens need stability, and that’s something the system just can’t offer.

Teens need trust

Chris felt that same way, and he simply couldn’t trust his foster families.

“For the longest time I felt so uncomfortable. Like, they can either send me somewhere, take me to another place saying this isn’t working or kick me out. And it had always been like that, all the homes I’ve been to.”

Imagine being a teenager who didn’t know where they were going to live from month to month or who would be their next caregiver.

And for foster kids, situations can be so tenuous that things can change in an instant. As teenagers, we’re programmed to test boundaries, but for those without a loving family, it can mean someone giving up on you.

Imagine the anxiety and anger that would cause.

Changing the mindset

Shantell (or Shawn) knows he was an angry kid, but it took the love of a mother who refused to give up on him to show him that he could be cared for.

“I would give my mom a hard time. Like, I was bad,” he admitted.

But really he was just being a teenager.

“I was just an angry kid, I think, it’s just my past. I didn’t know how to deal with it. The only way I could deal with it is just be mad.”

Of course, Shawn’s anger is understandable and certainly didn’t make him unworthy of being adopted.

He has a mom now and while it took some time to adjust, he learned to trust her.

“In that moment, just her being there being so patient with me understanding and not giving up on me that changed a lot for me. Then I kind of gave in and was like, ‘Okay, this this person really cares about me.'”

That mother’s name is Susan.

Susan

In case you haven’t guessed, Susan is amazing and patient, and caring. And she’s dedicated the last few years to caring for Shawn, Chris, and a third adopted son, Lex.

“I can’t imagine where they’ve been and they’ve been through more of the system than I ever have but I can meet them at this line and say, ‘Okay, you’re gonna understand what it’s like to be in the family. You’re gonna understand what it’s like to have somebody that cares for you and is gonna back you up and somebody that’s gonna disagree with you but still support you,'” she said in an interview.

Band of brothers

Lex knew that Susan’s relentless pursuit of his trust was part of what it means to have a real parent. But since that’s something he never had, it took some time to come to that realization.

“I knew like just over time just how much she like wanted to do was best for me. Even though I like I hated it at the time, but her going to my basketball games, her being at every game and like supporting me that way…I think that I was like a real big sign for me.”

As for Chris, it took having the court date set in order to start to trust and communicate with the rest of his new family.

And Susan understood all of that, but she was determined to make her family work.

“You can make such a difference in your own community by committing to some time with teenagers. People will give up on teenagers cause teenagers are rough,” she said.

Finding family

None of the three teens thought they would ever be adopted or have a stable home.

“I never thought I would be adopted, especially at that age. Especially being adopted with my brother. But I think, like, it really makes a big difference. Like, for me and my brother, it was like it was nuts for us to even be adopted. Two African-American teens, like, especially two brothers and then at the age that we were itself. And it’s like, I just don’t think that there’s enough people bold enough to do it,” said Lex.

For so many teens in the foster system, that turns out to be true. But for these three, not only did they get a mother in their teen years, but one that would be there for the rest of their lives.

Adoption means forever as far as Susan is concerned, and it made all the difference in proving to these three men that they deserved a support system and could rely on it throughout their lives.

The family made the video to encourage more foster parents to “be bold” and consider adopting teens.

While it will undoubtedly be a challenge, that’s what parenthood is regardless.

Be sure to scroll down below to see an interview with the three men and their mother.

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Source: YouTube – AASKArizona, AASK-az.com