20 tweets that prove Scottish people have the most wicked sense of humor
Misty green rolling hills, bagpipes, the Loch Ness monster – whatever you imagine Scotland to be like, just add a bunch of profanity to it and you’re ready to head to the pub.
The Scots have a ferocious sense of humor and they aren’t afraid to toss in a few creative curse words to make a point. In fact, people are so amused by “Scottish Twitter” that there’s an entire subreddit dedicated to their hilarious banter.
If you’ve ever wanted to try and decipher your own language and learn new ways to insult people, here’s a good start with 20 of the best r/ScottishPeopleTwitter posts:
1. Owning it
We’ll let you figure out just what “fanny” means to the Scots, but let’s just say it’s a bawdy way to describe a bit of female anatomy.
Luckily, this guy knows when he’s being one – even if he did want to complain about being called out first.
2. Why are we like this?
Here’s one Scot who just doesn’t understand why others need to make the written word so confusing. Why write like you talk?
Don’t worry, he got his answer.
3. Politics at its finest
While Americans are still bitter about hanging chads and whether or not signatures match, the Scots are making their voting preferences known by just insulting the other party on their ballots.
And apparently, it’s a system that works!
4. Taking aim at racism
Yes, that’s a plaque to three heinous racists, but it’s placed above a urinal.
That’s one way to tell someone to “piss off.”
Dont want to piss off the scottish from r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
5. Ya space slice
This is our new favorite insult.
Interestingly, no matter where you look online, the f-work always precedes it. Maybe it really is a three-word phrase.
6. More wholesome photos
Apparently, this guy wants people to post photos about the true meaning of Christmas.
No more gifts – just show us your rotten family.
7. Dog’s you’re uncle
Scottish family relations are hard to decipher.
But what you really have to watch out for is people with no sense of humor.
8. We’d wear that
Why are Americans so fond of city logo clothing?
Frankly, we’d love to confuse people with obscure Scottish place names instead.
9. Hidden superstar
Scottish deep thoughts really do make you think.
What if you’re the rockstar who has eaten the most anything in the world?
It’s sad to think you’d go your whole life without the proper recognition.
10. Pizzo’clock
It’s not a particularly Scottish prank, it’s just funny.
And we’re curious as to why mom thinks it’s perfectly natural to see a pizza hanging on the wall.
11. Ya badger
Here’s yet another word that we didn’t even know could be used as an insult.
We’re going to feel ready to offend anyone and everyone by the time this is done.
12. Commentary
That’s not the kind of catcalling we’d expect.
Then again, what else do you expect when you walk down the street with a package of TP.
And can’t Scotland be both majestic and rude?
13. Scottish parenting
Why alleviate your kid’s fear when you could instill even more?
This dad has the right idea by telling his little one a monster could be coming to eat him.
We just hope he remembers it’s all his fault when he has to wake up in the middle of the night.
14. Small talk
When you upgrade to gold, you’re clearly speaking a gamer’s language.
Perhaps a few more good haircuts and she’ll break out the platinum trimmer next
15. Yer mom
Mom jokes are universally funny.
And since they often don’t make much sense, there’s no pressure to be all that clever. Just say “so’s yer mom” and you’re pretty much set.
Yer no meant to eat the parts separately from r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
16. Free cable
Hey, people will do anything for free cable.
And what’s the guy going to say to this?
He ought to just move along – or else go looking for the cow.
17. The ultimate revenge
Normally if a kid does something rude, we can just let it slide.
Not this woman! She’s going all the way just to make a point.
18. Scotch dinosaur egg
We’re not going to be able to eat a scotch egg ever again without thinking of this ridiculous tweet.
Maybe that’s why they have so many calories!
19. Thanks for the advice, Karen
These people exist everywhere.
And they could probably use a sarcastic reply or two.
Not that it would truly teach them a lesson – are they even capable of learning one?
20. Simply the best
Despite making fun of themselves as well as everyone’s mother, the Scots are still quite sure they’re the best.
And after laughing at all of these tweets, it’s hard not to agree.
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Be sure to check out r/ScottishPeopleTwitter for some more laughs.
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Source: Reddit – r/ScottishPeopleTwitter