There are a lot of barriers to getting mental health care – not just in America, but around the world. Stigma is a big one.

But in the U.S., 42% of people say that cost and inadequate insurance coverage is their number one barrier, according to The National Council.

Just a few weeks ago, children’s author Caroline Moss asked her Twitter followers to provide some free advice by sharing “the best thing you learned at therapy.”

After over 10,000 retweets and hundreds of replies, the Internet got some real gems.

Now, they aren’t going to be a substitute for the help of a professional, but they are food for thought.

Here are ten of the basic sentiments expressed over and over again in people’s tweets (though it’s worth reading through on your own).

1. Set boundaries and enforce them

Of course people don’t like your boundaries – they are there to keep people from taking advantage of or hurting you. They’re MEANT to get in the way.

Decide where yours are, let people know about them, and then don’t back down. Boundary pushers (especially repeat offenders) tend to be pretty toxic.

2. Feeling isn’t optional if you want to grow

Feelings hurt sometimes. And it might seem easier to bury them or push them away or deny you have them at all.

But in the end, you can’t really get over something that hurts you until you allow yourself to acknowledge the pain first.

This doesn’t give you permission to take out your anger or sadness or fear on other people, but it does permit the occassional primal scream into your pillow or good cry in the shower.

3. Don’t beat yourself up

A good way to check and see if you’re being terrible to yourself is to try to imagine your negative self-talk being directed at someone you love.

Those of us with a thick skin might not love the whole “be gentle with yourself” sentiment, but it’s really just another way of saying that punishing yourself won’t help and hating on yourself is a toxic, cyclical behavior.

4. You are not your parents

Just because you are related to someone or grew up a certain way doesn’t mean you’re stuck with it for the rest of your life.

You don’t need to repeat the cycle or be a victim of your past.

5. Empathy is great but it doesn’t mean you have to accept other people’s bad behavior

Just because you understand why someone is behaving badly doesn’t mean it’s ok for them to do it.

Someone who grew up with trama and is acting it out on others shouldn’t just get a free pass just because you “get it.” They are responsible for seeing their own issues and modifying their behavior.

6. People’s best effort doesn’t always have to be good enough for you

You might understand that someone is loving you the best they can, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best you deserve. If their best effort isn’t making you happy, you can tell them that and find someone who does fulfill your needs.

Yes, it will probably hurt them and you’re not telling them they’re broken. You’re just telling them that you acknowledge the effort and you still need something else.

Don’t get stuck in someone else’s idea of a good relationship.

7. Don’t feel the trolls

Toxic people don’t deserve your best efforts at understanding and accepting them. And people who make bad decisions sometimes do so for reasons you’ll never know.

Everyone has the power to choose their own path and if someone chooses one of harm, you aren’t obligated to sit around and help them figure out why that is (unless you’re the therapist getting paid for it).

8. Happiness isn’t a 24/7 phenomenon

No one is happy all the time (except maybe puppies). Thinking that you’re an unhappy person just because you experience some angsty moments is like complaining about getting a 99% on a test.

You still got an A – be happy with it. That extra 1% doesn’t make you flawed.

9. Sometimes people just suck – and, unfortunatley, sometimes those people are your parents

You can’t fix people, you can’t make people like you, you can’t change who people are or make them better humans.

You can’t do it for your parents any more than you can for the person in line behind you at the grocery store.

The only person you can change is yourself.

10. The Internet is not a substitute for therapy

You might find solace and understanding and pieces of wisdom online, but if you truly need help working through your trauma and feelings, you deserve the help of a professional.

Good advice might look different for different people and a good therapist will tailor yours to suit your needs. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

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Have you been to therapy? What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

Source: Twitter