Woman steps in to be elderly man’s “daughter” in the last months of his life
It’s a privilege to be able to say “family is everything.” Many people don’t have the option of including blood relatives in their lives. That’s why the idea of a “family of choice” is becoming so important.
Brooke O’Briant found out what it means to be a daughter by choice when she met Nathaniel Hudson.
Their relationship began on December 21, 2018, the day after she got a call about an elderly man in an unhealthy living situation who needed assistance.
O’Briant wrote in an essay for Love What Matters:
“I do marketing at North River Village Assisted Living. On December 21, I drove out and picked Mr. Hudson up from his apartment. Bless his heart, it was tiny and run down. It was a situation I knew I wanted to do everything in my power to get him out of.”
She took Hudson to view the assisted living facility where she worked that day. Dressed in a suit and hat, the two got a look at his potential new home and even attended a Christmas concert – where he did a little dancing! – before heading back to his apartment.
While it took a while to get things organized and Hudson was hospitalized in the new year, he was able to move into North River Village on April 5, 2019.
O’Briant and Hudson became good friends after that.
“I felt so good knowing he was in a safe, clean place with three meals a day, nurses making sure he took his medications, and new friendships to lift his spirits. Over the following 12 months, Mr. Hudson and I became close buddies. He didn’t have any family in the picture, so I gladly stepped up to be a daughter to him.”
Assisting him with his mail, cell phone, dry cleaning, bills, doctors’ appointments at the VA, and shopping, O’Briant said Hudson began to call her his “supervisor.” But he was really becoming part of her family.
“He went to church with my family and was around my kiddos many times. He proudly told everyone he saw at church that day that I was his daughter. It melted my heart. I was so proud to hold onto his arm throughout worship and the sermon. He danced at his seat that day and everyone around him enjoyed it.”
Unfortunately, Hudson’s health was declining and in early 2020 he was diagnosed with cancer.
It was time to make some important decisions, but the man was unwilling to commit to a plan without the input of his “daughter.”
“During a hospital stay the staff started asking him questions about nursing homes and end of life care and he said, ‘I’m not making any decisions without Brooke.’ In another nurse’s note, he said, ‘Brooke is my everything.’ Since Mr. Hudson had officially discharged from the facility and was going to a nursing home, he made me his power of attorney. I was honored and humbled to represent him.”
Sadly, Hudson passed away in April and O’Briant recounted his last moments, as told to her by the nurses at his new facility:
“The nurses told me that prior to his passing, he sang ‘Amazing Grace’ so loudly that it echoed throughout the facility. He had been a little confused lately, but he knew every word to the song. He sang it over and over. I think he knew he was about to go home to Heaven.”
O’Briant lost a father figure that day but was happy to be Hudson’s stand-in daughter when he needed it the most.
Because of the Covid-19 epidemic, the veteran’s funeral will have to wait, but his adopted family is hard at work on planning the details.
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